Monday, November 11, 2013

Tough enough

Yesterday, I was planning a quick excursion up Seymour to see the little skiff of snow and show Coco, Raqu and Jake.  It's a yearly event for me since I could get myself up the mountain.
As I was asking Jake's dad for permission to take him with us Raqu happy and overly excited about such an excursion forgets to look down and basically in her run, trips on my foot and does a face plant straight onto a paver driveway.  The sound of her skull making the impact with the concrete was very distinct and very much concussion sounding.

I look to him and say "Nope, not going." I quickly picked her up and off to home and see what damage has resulted.
I was rather sick to stomach wondering how much of her face was missing skin as I didn't dare check till I had all the materials and tools necessary to deal with such a crash.
In the moment I picked her up she finally let out a cry and it wasn't the usual screaming that accompanies this type of accident but something surprisingly low key.

We make it to our place and sit on the couch as I do my best to console her and check her face and hair line.  After a couple moments she finally puts a few words together explaining why she's so upset and it's not what I expected to hear.

'I want to see the snow' in a quivering pout.
How tough is she?

As Jake's dad shows up at our door to check in on Raqu, I have to explain that the mountain hike is on.

We don't get far, but were able to have a snow ball fight, play with ice shards and then there is the part where Jake found some frog eggs in a giant puddle.  I had to giggle as he figured someone had dropped a jelly bean in the water and was looking like he was going to give it a try.  It's clear to me how very lucky Jake is that I am not his father or else I quite sure I would have kept quiet to see what happened during his inquisitive moment of what a jelly bean from a pond might taste like.

That being said.  I am a dad of a Coco-nut.
The death thing that she was trying through a while back has morphed into something much larger and gaining a wicked amount of speed.   I haven't a clue....  I think the void of heavy stress from the EB front has finally started to crack the family.
I can handle EB and all it's shit.  I can't seem to handle a burgeoning OCD, clean freak, and unrealistic expectations on top of it all, add sensitive mother (not mine). Shit yeah, her too.

Just when EB was somewhat licked - meaning it's a good long stretch where we have been able to handle it with authority and grace, all the hidden psychological effects of everyone but the center of this family are bursting at the seams.

So who's the same around here?
Raqu, that's who.  Even while up at mountain this painful skin puddle was growing within.

The video is from her after we've gone through the pain of the popped blister.
I guess I'm still a bad daddy and Simona is best.