Friday, March 8, 2013

Clockwork Orange

This morning's hospital visit was one that we've been waiting for a very long time.
For the most part we've got Raquel's pain meds figured.
She still has dressing changes where she shudders in pain, screams and fights my every move.
Especially when her feet meet fresh air and prodding to pick at blisters or scabs my developing OCD is pushed to clean up.  Considering her feet and hands are under 3 layers of bandage and two pairs of socks the sensitivity must be crazy for her with every touch.

We discussed her basic morphine regimen and how we were under half of what can be administered her weight now.
I think we've still been able to handle things, but for those moments that seem to pop up every few weeks.  It would be nice to clear my involvement from her future association of pain and suffering. We discussed Midazolam and Fentenol as either amnesiatic and or fast acting knockout drugs so that the difficult procedures can be done with out battle and further effect to Raquel and our future loving and trusting relationship. Basically I'm tired of getting her mitt in the face when she knows I'm coming for a procedure.


Other than a break through morphine bump at dressing changes Raquel mostly gets distraction techniques and involve as many elements as needed.  It was explained that this is never a constant and like what goes down on our changes things go often go sideways till something finally works.  The result is Raquel and I can be at odds both yelling at each other to 'behave and sit still!!' me or 'go away!!' her, while whoever is helping grabs anything from the ipad to books, videos or music to be played in a frantic dance to either settle Raquel or me down.....

He discussed using certain repetitive relaxation techniques and gave examples of singing, songs or like examples how athletes visualize courses or events.  It would then be a way in which we would prepare and hopefully sidestep our suffering on most occations.  This type of technique can also be used to heighten/quicken the effects of the chemicals we're giving Raquel.

He also exclaimed how people feel better within minutes of taking an aspirin, when in fact it takes 30 minutes to metabolize in the stomach.

Play with the brain, basically.

I have to admit I lost a bit of the meeting to fantasies within my own head.  It couldn't be helped, the doctor brought up the prospects and advantages of hypnosis or 'guided imagery therapy'.

For much of this part of the conversation all I could hear was Beethoven and scenes of gratuitous violence as poor Malcolm McDowell was reprogrammed to have a retching internal reaction to violence or Beethoven.
And of course one of the classic lines ever spoken in cinema that every married couple should have in it's arsenal for communication.
'No time of the in and out love, just passing through'.

Eventually I was able to come back to reality and carry on with the Complex Pain meeting among the three specialists surrounding Raquel, our nurse and me. 


I realize this post is in the middle of the promotion of a Debra Broomball event I am heavily involved in and it's sideways subject matter, but this is a blog about Raquel, EB and how we as a family are coping.  This type of subject matter is run through out in the last two years of blog posts.  The Debra aspect is something else, I'm using this format and readership to push people regularly checking in to this blog to go there.
Not the other way around. 

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