Sunday, December 16, 2012

Payback is a ...

I just realized Raquel is purposely stepping on my heart. Not unexpected when I can be perceived as a bearer of pain and suffering.
Not like it is enough for her to nearly always cry for mommy when we are left alone, but she's taken it another step in the last few days, not exactly subtle either.
Simona came over to mind the little ones while Ren & I watched the Life of Pi.
Giggle Giggle.
So wonderful watching a movie with intensity and not have Ren walk out go to the kitchen, decide to fold towels in the laundry room, etc. This was awesome as the tiger lunged in 3D a few more times than most movies bother to. Ren couldn't hide, she couldn't run and every moment she figured it was over, fangs and claws jumped from the screen into our laps.
I guess the only reason I wasn't jumping and squealing was I was watching Ren and giggling beyond control.
Anyway,back at home I'm watching Raquel give Simona unrequested hug after hug. Big, warm and wrapped little girl necklace. Do I get one when we left or came home? It's like she knows giving everyone else the affection is starting to get at me.
Then for a coupe de gras, she (Raquel) was returning from depositing my banana peel in the compost. I asked her wasn't actually expecting she would walk to the kitchen and know exactly what to do. On her return I was so proud I put up my hand and said 'high five Quel' she smiled put up her palm and walked towards me hand extended and not two feet before we slap hand to silk mitten she sidesteps me and goes right to Ren giving her the five. She glances a coy sparkle in her eye and grin.
Like a knife to the heart.
Again, when diplomacy is taking too long who pins her down and yanks crusty scabs from her elbow, or lances a moving target and sinks the needle deep into the tender flesh or dresses her hands so quickly from freedom and touch.

Why would she?
I do all that and it's not like I do it with the soft painful eyes of sorrow. The more difficult the situation the more likely I am to snicker, or yell angrily when she's about to do some major damage to herself, because she refuses to sit still.

I figure this is the edge.
Glad, at least Coco his shaping up nicely as a daddies girl.

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