Friday, April 27, 2012

Dodging Bullets? Taking Fire....

Two situations in one day.
First was a excited stressed call from a nurse mid day while I was at work.
"Can you come home now please Ryan?!!"
In the back ground I hear Raquel freaking out in distress.
I was down the stairs before I realize I didn't even say yes.  I tore through a place of business as it happened to be my quickest line to car nearly chucking customers to the side in my wake.

Forget about testing Subaru's AWD system.  Brakes aren't as good as they should be for that type of driving...  Maybe I need to hit up my sailing skippers at Park Shore BMW for an X1 so at least I can be safer on these mad treks home.  Well one I'd have to be able to work.  Two I'd have to be able to work to afford a car.
Nice car.
Day dreaming...
Avoidance.

Then I get held by the one light between my house and my work.
No cars.
No traffic camera's
DO I??
Waiting...
Deep breath.
Green
GOOO!
I really wish I had a car that could peel out, again.
So satisfying in these situations.
Even if you are still siting in one place after you have the go ahead while your tires smoke around you.

Images of a giant smear of skin across the entire side of her face are running through my head as a scenario of her falling off her change table.  Or some where else on her body.
Then there was the choking scenario and arriving to near dead kid.
I can say the adrenaline was rather thick in my veins and my mind quite clear for the circumstances.
I'm happy in fact I didn't ask what was wrong before I charged off.  Thinking of near dead kid all the way home would have certainly had me blow that red light.

In the driveway and the fluttering ABS nearly had me take out the few concrete planters I have loitering at the deep end of our driveway.
Once in the door Raquel is sitting quietly on the nurses lap taking her feed.
All the rage and fear I had dissipated and was strangely contained in the tiny little tear still evident on Raquel's cheek, just under her eye.  We'd been linked, but just not in real time.

Back to work.
Except how do you concentrate on work after that?
How do you conceptualize (in my work) the 3rd dimension?
Well 2D but thinking in the 3rd while using the 4th. Is a computer the fouth?

All went well for rest of day.  Except between a builder and I.
Although I guess that went down before the choking incident with Raquel.

Oh right Raquel, she aspirated reflux.

At 1:30 am we had a second aspiration.  From her bed we could hear her struggling to breathe.
Within seconds we had her out of her crib and into the living room holding her not having a fking clue what to do.
After many seconds she stops choking and starts to breath normally.
Within minutes she's passed out on my chest.
Yet another night on the couch, with her rolled up at my feet, just in case I need to be with her at a seconds notice.
Not like I still have a fking clue what to do, but to hold her and live her panic.

JOY

RDEB, gotta love it.

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