Friday, March 23, 2012

The Gouge

Yesterday was a joy.
Our new nurse was given the full scope of Hultman temperamentalism.
We tried an early morning dressing change.  Raquel had a rough night and didn't wake up till somewhere around 9.  She was a little grouchy to start and once her early feed was done and some time for morning adjustment we went through the procedure.
Every thing was fine till we were getting her into her chair.  We have this wooden bar that goes across her waist to hold her in and it needs to be pushed into place as if trying to string a bow.  Renata nor many of the nurses like doing it as it takes considerable force to install.
When Cordelia used the chair we'd just leave the bar in place, but with Raquel it's impossible to get all the protective blanket layers within.
Everything was going somewhat awkward as the nurse was so eager to help, as we kept getting in each others way till.....
I was trying to pigeon hole the first side of the wooden bar and was having some trouble as it was getting caught up in the many blanket layers we use.  It didn't help that Raquel was somewhat fussy and squirming back and forth. As I was pushing from one end the nurse helped in another and the bar flicked up and hit Raquel in the face.  I couldn't tell but it looked in the eye as I was standing behind her and from the resistance I felt it felt serious.  There was a small scratch down her forehead toward the eye, but didn't look very serious.  From then on Raquel was fighting and fussing and had her eyes closed, generally a good indication I'd scratched her eye. 
My temper shot through the roof and for the remainder of the morning I had the feeling I'd made a permanent gouge in her eye.  If little flicks cause issues for weeks what would a big rough pointy end of a wooden bow do? 
Anyway, poor nurse.
Raquel cried and cried and cried and I had the darkest cloud pouring acid rain as I tramped around for the next hour before I had to leave to work.
I was able to settled Raquel before I left with the sweet sounds of Ween's 'Spinal Meningitis (Got Me Down)', 'Baby Bitch' and the ever joyful 'Don't Shit Where You Eat'.
I've never been much of a lyric listener when enjoying rhythms and beats, nor titles for that matter.  I wasn't sure if our nurse was wondering what she'd signed on for as she looked rather nervous for that period. Was it me? Was it Raquel? Was it the choice of musical lullaby?
It didn't matter at that point to me as Raquel was quiet and bobbing back and forth to the sounds.  I do realize I'll have to put that record down soon or again as her English comprehension gains.  Cordelia catches this word or another then asks questions that are sometimes difficult to go about in a PC manner.
I guess if my children are so lucky to born and live in what will likely be a war free zone for another couple generations at least I can do my part to bring a little flavor to sunny afternoons and dew drops.
Just hope on our nurses second full day with Raquel and first change our flavor won't be judged.

Anyway, my evening was spent walking along a uninhabited river bank far up the Squamish valley.
In the end I didn't find fishing very interesting, plus I didn't have that predator mind set to stalk the many little pools and runs for hiding trout.  Though I already knew I didn't end up gouging her eye, I just couldn't kick the dysfunctional mood of my brain.  I did end up finding refuge by walking far up the river along a small winding path amongst the moss and dead fall. 


All the Hultmans in this little unit seem in good spirits, today.....

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